but i have a good reason!

I've been MIA and I feel awful after my last post about how often I will blog!! Whoops!!

Things have been a little crazy in my world at the moment, nothing too crazy just busy crazy!

Work is crazy, my house is crazy and my dogs are CRAZY!!

But mainly it's cause of this little crazy kid!

It's her 1st Birthday today!! Happy Birthday Sophie!!

I can't believe how quickly a year has gone! It only feels like yesterday my sister was being taken to hospital to have her. And how my world has changed since she came along.

My auntie (my mum's sister) said to me not long after Soph was born "I feel like a second mother to you and your siblings, I don't know why but I guess it was becuase I was so involved in your lives growing up". And she's right! She is like a second mum to us - an interstate second mum!

And that's how I feel with Sophie! I'm not her mum - I'm no where near as good as her mum - but I love the fact that I can see her growing up and she knows who I am! She will bum-shuffle (her version of crawling!) over to me and will get a cheeky smile when she sees me get home from work! 

It's going to be hard to move out into our own place... better make sure we don't move too far! I know I'll be having withdrawals!! 

Anyway, apart from that, my goals pretty much are still travelling along. 

It has been a little hard to keep with the exercise side of things, but I made the most of the long weekend and headed to the gym bright and early monday morning and I LOVED IT! It felt great apart from the ankle be a little wonky, it was great to get back into it. 

Food wise is at about 85% if I'm being honest. It's all about preparation - and MAKING the time to do it!

This weekend we are staying at my folks place as our place is full of interstate visitors for the party on saturday. It made for a very restless sleep last night... our dogs came with us and being in a place that the only visit occassionally to now needing to sleep at was interesting to say the least. They were up all night sniffing, looking and barking at any noise. I love my dogs but I was ready to re-home them last night!! Which I'm glad I didn't cause they were so cute at 5am this morning once they finally went to sleep - cuddled on our bed!!

Also, I'm thinking about heading back to my GP soon to see what the next step in the baby making journey will be. I have another appointment with the Chinese Medicine man on Saturday - which I can't wait for as it's 40mins of relaxing, peaceful napping!

I promise to keep with not only this blog, but weight and health goals. No distractions! Unless it comes in the form of a baby...

amiee

do you come here often?

I check in generally every 2nd to 3rd day. I wish I had the time to do everyday, but count yourselves lucky cause my posts would be something like this...

Ummm so today, I went to work. And did work stuff. And ate my lunch. Tried not to eat a billion biscuits. Then I went home. Had dinner. Went to bed. Good day.

Yes, I would be B.O.R.I.N.G. (unless you already think my posts are which is cool, cause I don't really know if anyone actually reads this...!)

So, how often should I be blogging then? Daily? Every 2nd day? Weekly? Fortnightly? Monthly? NEVER?

I think I'm going to run with as often as I can and when I have a decent topic - which I'm going to assume around the 3 day mark.

But don't hate me if I post too much or not enough. Or about boring things. I will try my darnedest to pick up the pace and try to do some exciting things in my life!

amiee

and... go...

Yesterday the 12WBT officially kicked off! And I feel GREAT! Cause it's only day 2...

But I certainly didn't have the greatest lead up to kick off. My plans almost were unravelled - and not in a good way!

First off, great weekend! Full of lots of things I love including friends, family, sleeping, catching up on IQ, relaxing, shopping, wine, visit to the Chinese medicine man (which also included sleeping and relaxing!).

Sounds great right? Sure was up until I went to the movies with some mates Sunday arvo and totally stacked it down the stairs at the end of the movie. Popcorn everywhere! Must have had the guilt's cause I didn't even eat a third of the popcorn hence popcorn everywhere! My shoe also went flying and I could not control my laughter. To the point of tears. But I picked myself up, with the help of my mates who all missed seeing my epic fall, found my missing shoe and hobbled away! No "structural" damage, but a massive egg on my re-constructed knee. Little did I notice until Monday evening when I also discovered this:

Don't worry though! I'm all OK! I can walk and run with only minimal (and really minimal) pain! I hardly notice it until I accidentally knock my knee or hit my ankle. I think my pride is more damaged...

But anyway, that wasn't the worst of it. I did not get prepared for the 12WBT meal plan. I didn't do my grocery shopping until the last minute (as in the day of...) and I spent the majority of the day preparing everything. I wasn't feeling great to begin with...

But I sure am now! I also got in a gym session too even with the dodgy knee and ankle!

So off we go on another 12 week journey... I hope this will be my last... I'm going all in and can't wait to come out the other side!!

amiee

sssshhhh

Is there anybody out there?

If so, listen up kids!

Yes, I'm blogging into the universe, and yes anyone can read it and yes I'm more than happy for anyone to read it.

But... and there's always a but...

How do I say this without contradicting this whole blogging thing...

Letting all of our family and friends know about our issues falling pregnant isn't something we are doing. Our immediate family and closest of friends know, but we don't want the look of sympathy and sadness when we say we are trying but it probably ain't gonna happen naturally.

We also don't want the added pressure of people asking how it's going or when it's going to happen.

More than happen to spread the word about trying to buy a house and weight goal tasks, but this is a little more sensitive.

Hey, when something happens we are gonna yell it off the roof tops! Don't you worry!

So if you are reading this and you know me personally, more than happy to chat about it with you but try to mindful when people are around. Lets make it a one-on-one conversation. And please don't talk about me, what I post in here or what I do behind my back in a negative way. Positive all the way peeps!

And if you don't know me and we are not connected in anyway possible, tell your friends! I don't care and I honestly don't think they will either!

Glad we got that squared away. I know it sounds silly, why would I be telling you to keep it hush hush when I'm posting this into the web where anyone can read it, but I don't know why, I just feel the need to say ssshhh.

And FYI - I don't have blogger regret about what I posted yesterday. I have dodgy ovaries and I'm cool with it!

amiee

litte itty-bitty one

When I was younger, I always thought I wouldn't have kids, but I would adopt. Don't ask me why but that's just what I thought. I would adopt a little boy and call him Booker. I'm glad they don't let you pick your future kids names when you are a child yourself! 

Luckily, I have moved on from that name. Far, far, far away from that name!

It's strange though that growing up I thought I wouldn't have kids of my own, and now here I am wanting the little buggers and it just ain't happening.

Maybe it's karma. Maybe not.

Either way, I'm on a mission. But to give you a little background on how I got to this stage, I will delve right back into my younger years (did I tell you I'm only 28 but I feel like teenage years were FOREVER ago) and see how my mind and heart changed.

So, I was a kid that didn't want kids. Then I became a teenager still not interested. It was never about the affects on my body or having to push a watermelon through a straw (but that is what I think about childbirth thanks to my sister!) or about poor children in foreign countries who deserve a better life or helping the universe.

I've spent the majority of my teenage (hey, I was no saint but I certainly wasn't jumping into beds as a teenager!) and young adult life trying NOT to get pregnant. I was on the pill, I was using protection. Although I wasn't the best at taking the damn thing on time, I was still using protection either way.

Then along came this guy. And we feel in love. And we moved in together. And we got fur babies. And we got married. And now we want kids.

Our fur babies Bella and Milly

How the hell did that happen?! I don't remember when or how or why but suddenly the idea of having my kids was great! I didn't lose the interest in adopting, I still consider that to be something I would like to do in my future.

But I want to have my hubbies babies. I want little itty bitty versions of him and me.

Before jumping forward, which I've done, I should take a little step back to 2006-2007. I was living with the hubby but we weren't married or engaged. Just happy living. I was on the pill, we were using protection but my period stopped coming. It sent me into a panic. I knew I wanted kids but I was only in my early 20's and it was too soon!

My trusty sister came over with a pregnancy test and a block of chocolate. She said either way, you need chocolate. We ate the chocolate but we didn't need the chocolate! I wasn't pregnant! But I was concerned as to why my period hadn't come. I waited another 2 months to see if maybe it was a one off thing, but it wasn't.

I headed to my GP who sent me off for an internal ultrasound and consultation with a specialist. At the ultrasound the tech gave me a brief explanation of what she could see which were cysts on my ovaries. She didn't really go into to much detail as that's what the specialist would be doing. I didn't really think anything more of it until a fortnight later at the specialist appointment.

PCOS - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems including issues losing weight.

At first, I was sad. I wouldn't be able to have kids. I wasn't listening to what the specialist said - get onto your weight now to make things easier on your body when you're ready to have kids - all I heard was fertility issues. And to be honest, I figured it was still awhile away before we would have kids so nothing to be concerned about now.

I didn't do anything about my weight. Well I half-heartedly tried. I saw a dietitian but quickly got disinterested. I would start eating healthy and quickly slip back. Before I knew it I was 20kgs heavier and ready to start the pregnancy game.

I was getting my period twice a year if I was lucky! I wasn't on the pill but we were using protection. Until we got married in 2009. Then we thought we would just see how things went. Well that was almost 3 years ago! We haven't been trying as such to conceive, but we haven't been trying to prevent. We went with the saying - let's see what happens.

I headed to a new GP at the beginning of 2011. I wanted to get a health check and some advice on what we should be doing in preparation for trying to get pregnant. Once I told her about my PCOS, she was straight onto get your weight under control. Make that your priority and basically advised me to hold off trying to get pregnant until my body was in better shape. I understood what she was saying and for the first time, I was prepared to do something about it. The plan was to give weight loss a go for 12months before looking into other options such as IVF.

She sent me off to another dietitian and she was great. Very encouraging and motivating and provided some great advice. Slowly the weight started to come off. Very slowly.

Then in June 2011, I became an auntie for the first time. I real auntie!

My sister and her partner had a little baby girl called Sophie. And I became even more focused. But not because there was a little baby around and I was clucky.

Sophie arrived 9 weeks early. She wasn't due until August but my sisters body wasn't coping with the pregnancy and her kidneys started shutting down. One day we were shopping for prams, the next my sister was having an emergency c-section. Like me, my sister is overweight and didn't have the best oven to cook the little one in. But she did an excellent job as little Sophie is perfect!

Little Sophie about 15mins old

She spent many weeks in hospital before coming home at the end of July. She's doing great now, a little fire cracker! And my sister has recovered well. She spent about 2 weeks in hospital before coming home and then ending up back in for a night.

Sophie the little fire cracker now!

Although everything turned out great for them, it made me realise that at the weight and health I was, it wasn't go to cut it. Enter the Michelle Bridges 12WBT program!

I hit the ground running! I joined the gym, started eating so much better and by September I got my period!! And I've had it every month since!! Well almost, its sitting at about 5 weeks between the end and the start. But hey, its coming!

I was stoked and then not so stoked as I had forgotten how un-enjoyable that time of the month is!

That's where I was at until at the beginning of April 2012 when catching up with a girlfriend, she slipped me a card for a Traditional Chinese Medicine centre in my local area. She is also travelling along the same path as me, but probably with a baby as the number 1 priority. As you know, my top priority is currently been fought over by 3 very important tasks!

My friend had been referred to this doctor by friends of hers who had great success falling pregnant with his help. So I made an appointment to check him out. I spoke to the hubby about it first, talked through the usual issues (if we fall pregnant there goes my weight loss goal and house buying but I don't want to leave it to late and end up wasting time) and got my solution. Give it a shot.

I've had 2 sessions so far, with my 3rd this weekend. I see him every 2nd week for about 40mins. He spent the first session getting to know me, my issues and my goals. He was so kind and warm and lovely. I didn't know a lot about Chinese medicine so it was very interesting. He also gave me a run down on the birds and the bees! I thought I knew how it worked before but really I had no idea!

He did cupping and acupuncture and sent me on my way with some herbs to drink twice a day and some guidelines....

- have intercourse every second day

- keep my body and uterus warm

- don't overexert myself (eeek!! weight loss goal?!)

- and relax.

It put me in a pickle. That kind of stops my weight loss goal... but if I don't lose some more weight, it doesn't help my baby goal.

Screw it. I'm having a crack at both! 

That's where my baby plans are at. We are trying and if I fall pregnant now, I will not call it an accident! If it happens before I reach my goal weight, I will be just as excited if it happened after I reached my goal.

And the best thing about going to see my little traditional Chinese medicine doc - I have a great little snooze with the cupping and acupuncture! Bliss! 

I'm making my way through unravelling this world and discovering so many cool and crazy things. Baby making is fun! (remind me of this if in the future if I say I've had enough!)

amiee

overwhelmed

Just a little.

I'm anxious and nervous about Monday.

And it's got me questioning why am I waiting until Monday to start? Why haven't I already kicked the unhealthy habits to the curb and got my butt to the gym?

I think this is very typical of myself and how I do things. I'm all about planning, and procrastinating and not so much just jumping and doing what I need to do.

Here is a little update on my 3 tasks:

Weight Loss Goal

Monday I will begin the 12WBT Rnd 2 2012. And I'm pumped. I've been working on a training schedule for the first 4 weeks which a good mate of mine has been helping me put together. She will be an awesome PT in the near future and gives me great advice on how to spread out my workouts to ensure I'm not doing too many weight sessions in a row and covering all my needs.

I've told the family, my friends, my co-workers that I'm going to give this a red hot crack and achieve some amazing results. I've been putting it out there so they know what I'm going to do and how inviting me to hot chocolate and cake on a Saturday arvo isn't going to cut it for the next 12 weeks!

I'm actually really anxious to start. I've said it out loud to the world and I'm ready to go. I just want to start.

Baby Goal

I don't think I've done a post on this yet so more to come on this. But I'm actually doing something about this. I've been seeing a local Chinese Doctor who practises traditional Chinese medicine. It's going well. And boy is my hubby enjoying it! Once I've completed the 12WBT I'll be heading back to my GP for the next step.

Gee I can't wait for the 12WBT to start but I also can't wait for it to finish!

House Goal

We are officially debt free and on the savings train! After meeting with a mortgage broker a couple of weeks ago, we sat down and worked out a budget. And when I say we, I mean me. Which is also good cause sometimes I need to reign that hubby of mine back in. We are set, we opened a brand spanking new savings account and we have been filtering our money in. Hopefully, well the plan being, we will have a deposit by the end of the year and looking to move into our new place!

Writing these goals down makes me think - I'm I crazy to think that I can achieve all of these at the 1 time? I'm trying to get to my goal weight to have a baby - which well then involve putting on weight? How does that work? We are saving for a house but also trying to have a baby so is it really a good idea to get a mortgage and then be down to 1 wage.

I can't think about things like that. We will make it work. I'm just excited to see which one comes first! My ultimate plan would be to get to the goal weight, buy a house and then have a baby.

But things don't always go the way I plan. So planning is out the door and I will embrace whatever order they come in.

amiee

true collingwood supporter

I don't follow footy but if you ask me who I barrack for - it's Collingwood.

I have been to maybe 3-4 games in my whole life and I couldn't even tell you who plays for them!

The reason I say Collingwood is because when I was in Grade 6 my teacher was a runner for the team so throughout the year we would have sports days and some Collingwood players would come along.

And black and white is the easiest colours to come dressed in!

But why am I now a true supporter?

I had a tooth pulled!

Not a visible one, it was second from the back on the bottom and it needed to come out. Like, badly.

I have had nothing but issues with it since I was a kid. It never formed properly and I had to have a root canal when I was in year 7 it was so dodgy.

Well my dodgy tooth is gone now.

And it sucks!!! Only because I'm struggling to eat!

There's only so many soft foods out there that I can tackle. My dentist said it will take a few days for it to heal and stay away from anything that can get caught in the wound and to also be mindful when chewing!

Scrambled eggs it is! And I HATE EGGS!!

All I want is chocolate cause in my mind - I can suck on it!

Instead I sent the hubby down to the shops to stock up on more eggs and yogurt.

I'm not sure this is a Michelle Bridges approved diet...

amiee