litte itty-bitty one

When I was younger, I always thought I wouldn't have kids, but I would adopt. Don't ask me why but that's just what I thought. I would adopt a little boy and call him Booker. I'm glad they don't let you pick your future kids names when you are a child yourself! 

Luckily, I have moved on from that name. Far, far, far away from that name!

It's strange though that growing up I thought I wouldn't have kids of my own, and now here I am wanting the little buggers and it just ain't happening.

Maybe it's karma. Maybe not.

Either way, I'm on a mission. But to give you a little background on how I got to this stage, I will delve right back into my younger years (did I tell you I'm only 28 but I feel like teenage years were FOREVER ago) and see how my mind and heart changed.

So, I was a kid that didn't want kids. Then I became a teenager still not interested. It was never about the affects on my body or having to push a watermelon through a straw (but that is what I think about childbirth thanks to my sister!) or about poor children in foreign countries who deserve a better life or helping the universe.

I've spent the majority of my teenage (hey, I was no saint but I certainly wasn't jumping into beds as a teenager!) and young adult life trying NOT to get pregnant. I was on the pill, I was using protection. Although I wasn't the best at taking the damn thing on time, I was still using protection either way.

Then along came this guy. And we feel in love. And we moved in together. And we got fur babies. And we got married. And now we want kids.

Our fur babies Bella and Milly

How the hell did that happen?! I don't remember when or how or why but suddenly the idea of having my kids was great! I didn't lose the interest in adopting, I still consider that to be something I would like to do in my future.

But I want to have my hubbies babies. I want little itty bitty versions of him and me.

Before jumping forward, which I've done, I should take a little step back to 2006-2007. I was living with the hubby but we weren't married or engaged. Just happy living. I was on the pill, we were using protection but my period stopped coming. It sent me into a panic. I knew I wanted kids but I was only in my early 20's and it was too soon!

My trusty sister came over with a pregnancy test and a block of chocolate. She said either way, you need chocolate. We ate the chocolate but we didn't need the chocolate! I wasn't pregnant! But I was concerned as to why my period hadn't come. I waited another 2 months to see if maybe it was a one off thing, but it wasn't.

I headed to my GP who sent me off for an internal ultrasound and consultation with a specialist. At the ultrasound the tech gave me a brief explanation of what she could see which were cysts on my ovaries. She didn't really go into to much detail as that's what the specialist would be doing. I didn't really think anything more of it until a fortnight later at the specialist appointment.

PCOS - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems including issues losing weight.

At first, I was sad. I wouldn't be able to have kids. I wasn't listening to what the specialist said - get onto your weight now to make things easier on your body when you're ready to have kids - all I heard was fertility issues. And to be honest, I figured it was still awhile away before we would have kids so nothing to be concerned about now.

I didn't do anything about my weight. Well I half-heartedly tried. I saw a dietitian but quickly got disinterested. I would start eating healthy and quickly slip back. Before I knew it I was 20kgs heavier and ready to start the pregnancy game.

I was getting my period twice a year if I was lucky! I wasn't on the pill but we were using protection. Until we got married in 2009. Then we thought we would just see how things went. Well that was almost 3 years ago! We haven't been trying as such to conceive, but we haven't been trying to prevent. We went with the saying - let's see what happens.

I headed to a new GP at the beginning of 2011. I wanted to get a health check and some advice on what we should be doing in preparation for trying to get pregnant. Once I told her about my PCOS, she was straight onto get your weight under control. Make that your priority and basically advised me to hold off trying to get pregnant until my body was in better shape. I understood what she was saying and for the first time, I was prepared to do something about it. The plan was to give weight loss a go for 12months before looking into other options such as IVF.

She sent me off to another dietitian and she was great. Very encouraging and motivating and provided some great advice. Slowly the weight started to come off. Very slowly.

Then in June 2011, I became an auntie for the first time. I real auntie!

My sister and her partner had a little baby girl called Sophie. And I became even more focused. But not because there was a little baby around and I was clucky.

Sophie arrived 9 weeks early. She wasn't due until August but my sisters body wasn't coping with the pregnancy and her kidneys started shutting down. One day we were shopping for prams, the next my sister was having an emergency c-section. Like me, my sister is overweight and didn't have the best oven to cook the little one in. But she did an excellent job as little Sophie is perfect!

Little Sophie about 15mins old

She spent many weeks in hospital before coming home at the end of July. She's doing great now, a little fire cracker! And my sister has recovered well. She spent about 2 weeks in hospital before coming home and then ending up back in for a night.

Sophie the little fire cracker now!

Although everything turned out great for them, it made me realise that at the weight and health I was, it wasn't go to cut it. Enter the Michelle Bridges 12WBT program!

I hit the ground running! I joined the gym, started eating so much better and by September I got my period!! And I've had it every month since!! Well almost, its sitting at about 5 weeks between the end and the start. But hey, its coming!

I was stoked and then not so stoked as I had forgotten how un-enjoyable that time of the month is!

That's where I was at until at the beginning of April 2012 when catching up with a girlfriend, she slipped me a card for a Traditional Chinese Medicine centre in my local area. She is also travelling along the same path as me, but probably with a baby as the number 1 priority. As you know, my top priority is currently been fought over by 3 very important tasks!

My friend had been referred to this doctor by friends of hers who had great success falling pregnant with his help. So I made an appointment to check him out. I spoke to the hubby about it first, talked through the usual issues (if we fall pregnant there goes my weight loss goal and house buying but I don't want to leave it to late and end up wasting time) and got my solution. Give it a shot.

I've had 2 sessions so far, with my 3rd this weekend. I see him every 2nd week for about 40mins. He spent the first session getting to know me, my issues and my goals. He was so kind and warm and lovely. I didn't know a lot about Chinese medicine so it was very interesting. He also gave me a run down on the birds and the bees! I thought I knew how it worked before but really I had no idea!

He did cupping and acupuncture and sent me on my way with some herbs to drink twice a day and some guidelines....

- have intercourse every second day

- keep my body and uterus warm

- don't overexert myself (eeek!! weight loss goal?!)

- and relax.

It put me in a pickle. That kind of stops my weight loss goal... but if I don't lose some more weight, it doesn't help my baby goal.

Screw it. I'm having a crack at both! 

That's where my baby plans are at. We are trying and if I fall pregnant now, I will not call it an accident! If it happens before I reach my goal weight, I will be just as excited if it happened after I reached my goal.

And the best thing about going to see my little traditional Chinese medicine doc - I have a great little snooze with the cupping and acupuncture! Bliss! 

I'm making my way through unravelling this world and discovering so many cool and crazy things. Baby making is fun! (remind me of this if in the future if I say I've had enough!)

amiee